Workout # 1

Above: Frank Zane, Mr. Olympia three times running, back when Mr. Olympia still meant aesthetically pleasing, before the rhoids really took over.

For those of you who come to this blog only for the entertainment value I have to apologize in advance. Unless you are currently a gym rat (weight lifter, etc.), or you are interested in getting in good, muscular physical condition you probably won't get far into this "blog." This is the first in a series of weight lifting/fitness/nutrition articles I've been promising for a while giving those who haven't been gym frequenters a place to begin and maybe a goal to shoot for.

This first one is going to start you out a little drastically, but never fear. Just work it at your own pace, with whatever weights you can do. HOWEVER, PLEASE don't make the mistake of jumping into this with both feet if you aren't used to working out at the gym. Give it a couple of weeks of basic movements, fairly light weights, to get your body used to it. Otherwise you are going to be so full of lactic acid, so incredibly sore, that you are 1) not going to like me anymore, and 2) probably not going to go back to the gym any time soon. Start in slowly!

First, I'm going to give you five basic laws of the game you MUST follow if you plan to find success in the gym.

1) Don't skip workouts! Stick to the routine.

2) Eat every 2 or 3 hours, mostly whole grains, oats, wheat, brown rice, sweet potatoes, etc.

3) SLEEP! If you aren't getting close to 8 hours a night, you are cheating yourself and your workout

4)DO NOT overtrain. I can't stress this one enough. What you think is going to make you stronger is going to break you down, hurt you, make you vulnerable to getting sick. I'll address overtraining again later.

5)Take a good quality protein drink one or two times a day. You aren't going to get a decent amount of protein without this, or at least not as easily. Nitrotech is the specific brand I use, and at age 44 this is the one I went from 210 to 218 with in one month. And mind you, I am still wearing the same pants size. This was not fat gain.

Those are the basic rules you have to follow. The rest we can tweak as we need to.

Before we get into the weights, let's talk about this first program. I am designing this specifically for those who want to gain some muscle, good quality muscle in a short time frame. Don't worry about getting bulky. It's not going to happen in the month I will have you on this. If you continue to hit this one, okay, you will possibly get bulky IF you have that genetic potential. But in the first month you are just going to build a basic framework on which to model the rest of your future programs. This goes for the ladies, too. Don't be afraid of muscle. It looks good no matter who it's on, and I'm not trying to get you all beefed up. I'm talking about nice, firm muscle, not steroid-pumped Muscle and Fitness magazine fodder.

Now let's talk food. This is going to hurt, for those of you who have been dieting forever (and often not with the results you desire). For every pound of body weight you should be eating 20 calories of QUALITY carbs and protein. I'm not talking about Twinkies and French fries. Let's hear it for the oats, wheat, brown rice, and sweet potatoes mentioned above. Don't be afraid of fat, but DO NOT touch the sugar. Please leave that poison alone. You will thank me for this later, if it's the only thing you get out of this article. White sugar is a poison to the human body, pure and simple. Beyond taste there is nothing good about it. Break yourself of it and you are on your way to being far more fit than most people in the good old USA.

Now, specifically, protein. You can pound the weights all day and eat until you're blue in the face, and you are going to get nowhere at all unless you are consuming quality protein. Chicken, fish, eggs, cottage cheese, venison, and yes, the evil beef. Grass-fed beef is actually good for you. No, I'm not kidding. And to supplement it, Nitro-tech Hardcore. Worth it's weight in gold, and they aren't paying me to say that.

I mentioned not being afraid of fats. Now I'm going to go a step further: EAT THEM. Flax seed oil, virgin olive oil, fish oil, nuts. Eating a handful of walnuts, almonds and peanuts every day is one of the best things you can do for yourself, especially if they're raw. Like peanut butter? Go for it, as long as it's the natural kind that has to be put in the fridge, or better yet, make it yourself with a Vitamix blender.

Before your workout, eat around 40-60 grams of slow burning carbs like oats, etc. This will force water into your muscles, and you need that. Then, and this is important, start consuming that protein shake. Drink half a cup or more before the workout and sip it throughout, then finish your workout with at least a half cup. Also, this is your one chance to ignore what I said about fast burning carbs (you know, that poisonous sugar). Take in 60-75 grams of fast-burning carbs, like chocolate milk, dark chocolate, etc. This will spike your insulin levels and refill what should by then be very depleted muscle glycogen stores.

And now for the workout itself. Remember, I'm recommending this for one month. After that, switch it up with one of the others I hope to have up here. If you don't, you will find your muscles become bored, and you will stop seeing the growth. So get in there, rack some weights (after that initial two week break-in period, that is) and slam some calories. Don't be afraid. Any fat you gain I'm going to help you shed next month.

(If you need guidance on the following exercises, drop me a line, but I'm sure you can find a description of each online, probably along with photos. Important note: Do all reps slowly, especially on the downward stroke, and concentrate on thinking about the muscle you're working. SQUEEZE hard at the top of the movement. The squeeze is more important than the amount of weight. Don't let your ego get you in trouble. You can get an astounding workout with 20 pound dumbbells even if you think you're a pretty big guy. It's all in the squeeze.)

Oh--I almost forgot the best part: REST. I am only going to have you working the major muscles one day per week. A full seven day rest period. No kidding. This is paramount. Follow the routine. Don't add anything in. You won't regret it.

DAY ONE: Chest and abs

Bench press (trade off every other week with dumbell press) 4 sets, 8 to 10 reps

Incline bench press (trade off every other week with db's) 4 sets, 8 to 10 reps

Flat Dumbell flyes 4 sets, 8 to 10 reps

Pec deck (the machine that some call a flye) 4 sets, 10 to 15 reps. The stretch on this is extremely important, far more so than trying to kill yourself with a heavy weight and tear out those all-important shoulders.

Chest is done!!!!

Now for the abs: Hanging leg raises (you will likely have to start out with leg raises on the end of a weight bench) 5 sets of 20 (Note: PLEASE do these very strictly, and at the top of the movement, when it hurts the most, SQUEEZE those abs together. Imagine an accordion. This is imperative if you want to build your abs.

DAY TWO: Back (and ONLY back!)

Lat pulldowns: 4 sets, 10 to 12

Deadlifts (one of the best exercises you can do, even though you hate it!) 4 sets, 8 to 10 reps

Barbell rows (arch that back and squeeze!!!) 4 sets, 8 to 10 reps

Dumbell rows (one arm at a time for a good stretch) 4 sets, 8 to 10 reps

Seated cable rows (you should be able shot by now) 3 sets, 10 to 12 reps. Squeeze it hard at the end. Come on, you can do it. You've come this far.

DAY THREE: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! You can do a thirty minute fast walk or light job, but don't run hard. You will negate a lot of the training you're doing. Don't worry, we'll get that cardio back. It's only a month! Believe me, I'm into cardio too.

DAY FOUR: Shoulders and calves

Barbell military press, 4 sets, 8 to 10 reps (keep your back straight!)

Dumbell laterals supersetted with front raises: 4 sets of 10 to 12 ech exercise

Rear (bent over) dumbell laterals 4 sets, 10 to 12 reps

Dumbell shrugs (or barbell, if you must) 4 sets, 8 to 10 reps (try to imagine squeezing your shoulder blades together behind your ears. FEEL IT in your upper back. Very important. You can also hold this one a couple of seconds at the top and stretch it as far as possible at the bottom.

Shoulders are done. Now for the calves, those little buggers that are so genetically dependent!

Seated calf raises: If you don't have a machine for this, you can pad a barbell, but it will be very helpful to have a partner if you do. 5 sets of 12 to 15 reps, and the squeeze at the top, a squeeze so hard it hurts BAD is paramount.

DAY FIVE: Arms and upper abdominals

Dumbell curls (and you can trade off with barbell if you like) 4 sets of 8 to 10 reps

Hammer curls 4 sets of 8 to 10 reps

Dumbell preacher curls (watch the weight here--a little goes a long way!) 4 sets of 10 to 12 reps

Close grip bench press (let the bar come all the way down until it touches your chest for a great stretch!) 4 sets of 8 to 10 reps

Lying triceps extensions (get that stretch again!) 4 sets of 8 to 10 reps

Bodyweight dips (here's the fun one) 4 sets to failure (I was doing sets of 16-22, but don't go so fanatic that you collapse and knock your teeth out on the dip bar! If you can only do 6, 8, or 10, then great. Everyone starts somewhere.)

Rope crunches (I've started doing these with a twelve-inch cambered bar held over my head. Much more comfortable to the hands: 5 sets of 20 (And squeeze it HARD at the bottom. I'm using 80 pounds on this one.)

DAY 5: Upper legs and Calves

Leg extensions: 4 sets of 12 to 15

Barbell squats: 4 sets of 8 to 10

Leg presses: 4 sets of 8 to 10

Lying leg curls: 4 sets of 10 to 12

Stiff-legged deadlifts (do these slowly so you don't tear out your knees!) 4 sets of 8 to 10 reps

Standing calf raises: 3 sets of 12 to 15 reps

Seated calf raises: 3 sets of 12 to 15 reps

Calves can be worked more often than other muscles, as they get used on a day to day basis, pretty harshly by some of us!

I'm not throwing any forearm routine in here, but you might want to add it in yourself for ten minutes or so later on, especially if you have dumbells or a barbell at home. But you'll be using forearm muscles in much of your other work, so if you don't want to worry about it for this month, don't.

DAY 7: OFF, again!

DAY 8: Start it all over again.

This is a lot of information to digest in a short space, so if you have any questions you can email me at kirby@kirbyjonas.com . I know this is a hard workout, but as the saying goes, I didn't promise it would be easy, I only promised it would be worth it. Remember, unless you want to, this isn't going to get you huge. Look at this as the jumping off point into a whole new world. I guarantee you if you stick with it you will love the changes you see in the mirror.

And here's a teaser for my next workout: VERY LITTLE REST BETWEEN SETS, say 15 to 40 seconds. HIGH REPS. Believe me, this one is going to hurt. BUt to a bodybuilder, it's a good hurt. Some will tell you you don't need the pain to see satisfactory results, but I am here to differ. Some pain and discomfort is a good thing. Just be careful that it's not the wrong kind of pain. If you have pain that lingers for more than four or five days, crank it back a notch. And don't forget to eat and stretch those muscles hard. I stretch hard for my back, chest and legs throughout the day. This is another one of those things that can make or break your progress in the gym. STAY LIMBER!!!! Any body builder worth his salt should be able to lay his palms flat on the floor without bending his/her knees. Just go for it slowly!