Have a COLA?

The blog I intended to write this morning just went out the window. I was listening to a conversation between the oncoming captain and driver as I was finishing out my 24-hour shift at the fire station today. One of them said something about a COLA, and the other said, "What's a COLA? We haven't had a COLA in a long time."

Well, for those of you who don't pay any more attention to these acronyms than I do, "COLA" means Cost Of Living Adjustment. Honestly, I just learned that myself within the past five years, after working for the City of Pocatello for 19 years now.

Okay. Why should firefighters or any other city employee have a COLA? Let me think for a minute. Gas has gone up tremendously. It's gone down a little bit, too, since its high, but overall it's about a buck more per gallon than it was last time I had a pay increase--a "COLA". My heating oil, which is the only way I have to heat my house other than electric heaters, has gone through the roof, making me keep my home anywhere from a balmy 58 degrees to a sweltering 62. We do the 62 at Christmastime--you know, for something extra special, when we really want to sweat.

Then there's the afore-mentioned electricity. Yep. Gone up. WAY up. The phone's gone up. The Dish Network went up until I finally got smart and cancelled it so my kids and wife catch up on our five thousand-some collection of videos and DVD's. Personally, I watch in the neighborhood of three hours of television a month, including our own movies, so I can hardly make a 600 dollar a year Dish bill worthwhile on my own.

Food went up. Clothes went up. Taxes went up. Insurance went up. Okay, pretty much everything went up.

Except for my wages.

But I'm not complaining. Hey, I'm just a dumb firefighter. I didn't take the time or trouble to go out and get educated. I have no natural talent as an actor or athlete, so I'm sure not worth their multi-millions. I'm not glib like a politician, so I don't deserve that kind of salary and those perks. I can't sew someone's face together like the plastic surgeon did for my little boy after he got bit by a dog, so I don't deserve the 4000.00 an hour he made for that job. (No, I'm NOT kidding. The anesthesia and everything else were on top of the 4500.00 we paid the doctor. Shoot, he tried to charge us 1000.00 just to write a letter to the dog owner's insurance company!) So no, I realize that all I do is take people having heart attacks, people in diabetic comas, and people who've had their limbs crushed in accidents to the hospital for the important, educated, knowledgeable people there to take care of. I only do the mere job of putting out the fires in those multi-million dollar doctors' houses that I helped pay for by being careless enough to let my kid get ripped up by the neighbor's dog in the first place. So why should I get a cost of living adjustment? Honestly.

COLA, you say? I'll bet our city government would be more than happy to give every city employee on the roster COLA, if we ask them nicely enough. So take your pick. Pepsi, or Coke? If we're really nice maybe we could have an RC. Or I would even settle for a Shasta Cola. Shoot, after five years without a COLA, I'll take about anything I can get!